Remain in Love and Embrace Hatred - A Biography
A journey of art, marriage, music, and loathing David Byrne.
Remain in Love: Talking Heads, Tom Tom Club, Tina
By: Chris Frantz
Published: 2022
208 Pages
Briefly, what is this book about?
The life and musical career of Chris Frantz and his wife Tina Weymouth. With particular attention paid to his antagonistic relationship with David Byrne, the front man for Talking Heads, a band they were both members of.
What's the author's angle?
Frantz seems to be going for three things here. First it’s an ode to his wife. Second it lays out his side of the fight between him and Byrne. Finally it’s a snapshot into the origin of punk in the late 70s.
Who should read this book?
If you’re a huge Talking Heads fan. Or if you really want a behind the scenes look at what it was like to be in a band in the late 70s. Otherwise I would skip it.
Specific thoughts: The fact that he’s stayed married for all these years counts for a lot.
There’s a saying I heard recently (though I guess it goes back to the 1920s or 30s): “If you’re so smart why aren’t you rich?” (I’ve also seen “kind”, “happy” and “successful” in place of rich.) For me the real test of smarts, or more accurately wisdom, is, “If you’re so wise, how come you couldn’t stay married?”
It’s obvious that living the good life requires connection to other human beings. Marriage is the ultimate test of whether you can genuinely connect with one other human being. Forget about the rest, can you do it one time with one person? Now I don’t want to get sidetracked into the minutia of marriage. And I know sometimes one person in the relationship can do everything right, and the other person can blow it up all on their own. I get all that, but if someone is trying to present himself as a wise individual who possesses the secrets of happiness, and he couldn’t even stay married? Well that’s a big strike against the person in my book.
It may seem strange to start a discussion of a rock biography by talking about marriage, but Frantz’s own marriage to Weymouth forms one of the dominant themes of this book. And, whatever else you might say about Frantz, they’re still together after 48 years, and not only that, but he realizes how lucky he is. That’s impressive.
Beyond that I’m always interested in the creative process, particularly in the very early stages. I thought the story of his college years when he was fumbling in the direction of Talking Heads was very interesting. This included a discussion of the early days of punk at the legendary CBGB’s. The stories he told of his work as a producer were also great. Finally, I am a human being, and I love me some gossip. And there’s a lot of it, mostly about what a “tool” David Byrne is. And I will also say that it rang true to me, because it’s the kind of envious infighting that most bands seem to suffer from.
So that’s the good, and there is a fair amount of good stuff, particularly in the beginning. But after the shine wears off you start to wonder whether this book had any editing. Or if he was being paid per celebrity name drop, or based on how many meals he could name. This is all fine as far as it goes, but once you start to notice the kind of stuff he puts in, it also draws attention to the stuff he leaves out. He barely touches on drumming as a profession, given that he is a drummer you think he’d put in something about the craft. He mentions in passing that he had a drug problem, but it’s kind of a blink and you miss it detail. That should be a pretty big story. And perhaps the strangest omission of all, he hardly says anything about Jerry Harrison, the fourth member of Talking Heads.
In the end the book feels like the first draft of a book by someone who has no clue about how to write a biography. It’s got some good stories, but there’s also a lot of stories that should have been cut. And a lot of other stuff that should have been added. I have no clue how this book ended up in my audible library, but my recommendation would be to not let it end up in yours.
Perhaps you thought I was joking when I said I was going to put out an individual review of every book I read. Who’s laughing now? Probably you, because I read this book, and it was kind of ridiculous, and now you’ll never have to. For more advice on books to avoid, continue watching this space.