Inner Excellence - The Fine Line Between Cliche and Coaching
It’s another self help book. Is this the one that will finally put you over the top, or another in a long line of endeavors that look like progress, but are really procrastination?
Inner Excellence: Train Your Mind for Extraordinary Performance and the Best Possible Life
By: Jim Murphy
Published: 2020
360 Pages
Briefly, what is this book about?
As you have already gathered, this is a self-help book. One of thousands (millions?) so the point is what sets this one apart from all those other books? I’m sure it hasn’t avoided all overlap, but the book does have a focus on character, and getting rid of self-centeredness that was refreshing.
What’s the author’s angle?
Jim Murphy played baseball in the minor leagues, and he was obsessed with winning. Then vision problems derailed his career, so he gave away most of his possessions and moved to the desert. Over the next five years he did nothing sports psychology, in an attempt to figure out how to compete in a way that produced calm regardless of the outcome. Something he had previously lacked. He draws explicit parallels to Thoreau:
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
He went to the desert, but the idea was similar. Of course, not everyone has the wherewithal to retreat to the desert to spend five years thinking. But potentially, if one did, it would bring some very valuable insights.
Who should read this book?
It’s once again time to do the self-help math. Hopefully I have another 30 good years in me. Let’s say that this book, or any self-help book ended up giving me just one minute a week worth of value—saved time, greater happiness, less stress, more peace, etc. Well then that’s worth 26 hours. Let’s say that in between listening to the book for 3 hours (at 3x) and another three hours of reviewing notes, digesting things, and writing this review that I spend six hours on the book. Then that’s over a four times return on my time investment, and that’s if it just saves a minute a week, if it’s five minutes a week, then it’s 20x.
Of course it’s also possible that it will convince you to spend additional time each day on some routine that isn’t beneficial at all, in which case the math ends up being entirely reversed. I don’t think that’s the case here, but it might be. And in order for it to do that, you would have to read the book, and think the advice was good. But it is possible for seemingly good advice to backfire.
I could see how this math could cascade and lead to you reading nothing but self-help books (and certainly we all know people who fall in this category) with each one offering increasingly diminished returns.
Specific thoughts: Concrete advice for avoiding narcissism
As I already mentioned this book does have a greater focus on character and avoiding ego, which I liked. And he gives many concrete tactics one could use to build the greater focus and the increased avoidance respectively. Here’s a couple that I liked:
The first was designed to be used at large gatherings where you’re talking to a lot of people. He recommends that you resolve beforehand to avoid talking about yourself, and if you can’t avoid that, then you should at least avoid anything that could be considered self promotion. Afterwards, track how hard this avoidance was and whether it felt good to talk to other people about their lives.
The second tactic concerned public performance, particularly dealing with nervousness around speaking or presenting. Are you nervous because you’re worried about looking bad, or how the affects you? Or are you nervous because you’re trying to help other people and you’re worried about that? If it’s the former you should shift to thinking about the people in the audience. Which may take you to the latter, in which case you should imagine the one person you can help. Obviously you’ll want to help as many as possible, but imagining that one helps focus you on people outside of yourself.
There are many other techniques in the book, and that’s definitely one of its strengths. Though as I mentioned if the techniques don’t work then the book has done the opposite of what it should be doing. So I would recommend being circumspect when you consider adopting any new routine. Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what should be done. But I did think the book had a lot of actionable advice.
Murphy has coached a lot of high level athletes, and they all seem to swear by him. We’re mostly not high level athletes, but I think we’d all like to be at a higher level than we currently are.
Speaking of advice that has either been amazing or life-destroying. Whatever convinced me to maintain a blog has either been a huge benefit (if this is all positive) or the single biggest waste of time ever. Obviously I lean towards the former, but I have moments when I think it’s the latter. I did appreciate all the likes from people coming out of the woodwork on the last post. But I also recognize how easily that can become annoying. So for now I will just wish you your own brand of inner excellence.
I've read multiple books thanks to recommendations from this blog, and I'm happy whenever I see that a new post is up. I can't say that about many other blogs.
"I could see how this math could cascade and lead to you reading nothing but self-help books (and certainly we all know people who fall in this category) with each one offering increasingly diminished returns."
Well certainly one has to assume that each new self-help book is proportionally less likely to offer something new.
Or perhaps a better way of thinking about it is that each book's pay-off is front loaded, as we grow complacent and revert; in which case a regular administration of 'help' to the self is required.
A savvy promoter might point out, then, that a blog might be a better delivery method than a book.